Self-esteem is an important part of a child’s overall wellbeing. Children with healthy self-esteem tend to have better academic achievement, stronger friendships, and experience less anxiety and depression. As a primary school teacher, parent or foster carer, you play a big role in shaping a child’s self-esteem. Use the tips below to help build up healthy self-esteem in the children in your life.
Praise Effort Over Innate Traits
Whether you are fostering a child with Clifford House Fostering or raising your own, it’s important to focus more on praising effort rather than innate traits. For example, instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say, “I can tell you worked really hard on this.” This shows the child that you value their hard work over fixed traits like intelligence. Try to be as specific as possible with praise – instead of just saying “good job”, say something like “I’m proud of how you focused and kept trying even when it was difficult.”
Allow Children to Make Age-Appropriate Choices
Giving children, even young ones, the ability to make simple choices helps them feel capable and builds self-esteem. Of course, provide guidance, but let them decide on small things like what to wear, what game to play, or what snack to have. Follow their lead in play as well. Even if they want to play superheroes for the tenth day in a row, show interest and let them guide the storyline.
Encourage Children to Step Outside Their Comfort Zone
Pushing children slightly outside their comfort zone in manageable ways helps them overcome fears and build self-confidence. This could involve trying a new sport, performing in front of others, or going to a social event. Offer plenty of encouragement before and after. Don’t force them into situations that clearly make them very uncomfortable. Build up slowly to bigger challenges.
Teach Children to View Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
When a child messes up, use it as a teaching moment. Explain that mistakes help our brains grow and that you learn more from failure than success. Establish a growth mindset early on by talking about times you have learned from your own mistakes. Help them see setbacks and failures as feedback rather than a reflection on their worth.
Model Self-Care and Positive Self-Talk
Children look to adults to learn how to treat themselves. Model healthy self-care like exercise, nourishing meals and positive self-talk. Avoid criticising your own appearance or abilities in front of children. Make sure to take time for yourself and speak kindly about yourself. Children pick up on our habits quickly.
Let Children Resolve Conflicts Independently
When children run into social problems, guide them to solve it themselves as much as possible. This allows them to build confidence in their social skills. Only step in if absolutely necessary. Teach them phrases to use when resolving conflicts like “How can we both get what we want?”
Building healthy self-esteem in kids takes time and effort but pays off exponentially in their overall well-being. Make praise specific and focus on effort over innate traits. Give them age-appropriate choices and responsibilities. Encourage a growth mindset when they make mistakes. And model self-care, positive social skills and self-talk. With your support, their self-esteem will flourish.